Marriage Between a Set of People
Love is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Love is something you can feel in your soul, it is something that makes you feel as if your body is filled with warmth. Unfortunately, some people try to deny people the right to commemorate this feeling. REAL Women, a Canadian non-profit organization advocating for traditional family values, advocates for the criminalization of same-sex marriage. REAL Women argue that same-sex marriage impinges on the stability of relationships, is a slippery slope to other ‘unconventional’ relationships, and hurts the wellbeing of children, but they lack sufficient evidence for their arguments. Same-sex marriage strengthens people, creates healthy and normal relationships, and it helps many children in need. Same-sex marriage is a human right that does not hurt anyone and should not be threatened due to traditional opinions and beliefs.
Relationships are difficult, they require an immense amount of effort, commitment, and compromise, among many other things. Sometimes, when times get rough, the title of marriage is the only thing that keeps two people fighting for their relationship. The stability of a relationship does not depend on the gender of those involved like REAL Women would lead you to believe, although, they did raise a strong concern that “in 1998, Statistics Canada released statistics indicating that 63% of couples living in common law, with children, break up within 10 years.” (212). They intended to discourage the union of same-sex couples through this statistic, but it proves the wrong point. Their goal was to point out that same-sex relationships harm their children, as the relationship will likely end within 10 years. Many people know the effects of separation on children, so this could potentially harm many children psychologically. Would this problem not be solved if same-sex marriage is considered moral, lessening the number of same-sex couples living in common law, which would, in turn, lessen the number of breakups within couples who have children? A study found by Kathleen Hull proved that the stability of marriage would increase in same-sex relationships as “married respondents describ[ed] an increased sense of love and commitment toward their partner after the legal marriage.” (53).
The arguments petitioning that same-sex marriage could create pathways to unconventional relationships such as incest and bestiality are absurd for many different reasons. It is hard to comprehend that people go from point A to point Z so quickly like that. REAL Women are a part of this guilty party by creating this slippery slope argument saying that, “there can be no valid or reasoned argument to exclude other sexual relationships, from the definition of ‘marriage,’ such as brother and sister, [or] a father and adult daughter.” (214). Incest was practiced within the Victorian age in order to keep royal bloodlines pure, as many people know. This practice created many problems relating to the offspring that this inbreeding created. Many children were born with mutations and diseases, such as blindness, ultimately hindering the wellbeing of these innocent children. These mutations and diseases seem to be a completely valid argument to exclude this kind of relationship. Bestiality, although not directly mentioned in REAL Women’s position, is worthy of mention as it is a common argument. Another baffling belief, as bestiality is between two entirely different species. As Bill Maher said, “New Rule: Gay marriage won’t lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn’t lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon.”. Neither of these arguments against same-sex union comes anywhere near a relationship between a man and man or woman and woman so how exactly does it create a slippery slope towards it? It simply does not.
It is no lie that children often lead a healthier life within a healthy parental relationship. The health and well-being of children seem to be an ongoing theme in REAL Women’s argument. However, given the evidence, it seems it is not the children they are worried about but their agenda and beliefs. They argue that “children who do not have this advantage [different gendered parents] are far more likely to experience out-of-wedlock pregnancy, poor school performance, early school dropout and difficulties with the law.” (213). Unfortunately for REAL Women, Elizabeth Ahmann found “the presence of an adult who has taken an interest in, reached out to, and created a bond of affection with a young person — is a key factor in ensuring adjustment, school success, and preparation for adulthood.” (2). There may be a small barrier for some same-sex couples to have biological children, but they often have the option of adoption. REAL Women does not take into account that regardless of the gender of the parents, children who are adopted will have these issues. Adoption agencies and foster care are extremely limited and overflowing with children, “over 400,000 children are in foster care in the United States and more than 100,000 of them are waiting to be adopted.” (Ahmann 1). These kids, without the presence of any adult, may face the challenges of poor school performance, early school dropout, and difficulties with the law. With the help of same-sex couples adopting, it can change many children’s lives for the better. Children do not need a mom and a dad, they need parents, they need a family. Same-sex marriage creates families, “on the day two lesbian mothers married each other in Toronto, their 12-years-old son said, ‘Now nobody can say I don’t have a real family’.” (Rose 90). The criminalization of same-sex marriage could potentially take away this 12-years-old boy’s family that he finally feels has been accepted.
Love is kind, love is patient, and love should be accepted by all. No one should have to fight for their right to be with someone they love. Same-sex marriage is based on love in the same way as dual-gendered marriage and should be treated as such, for it is wrong to deny someone this right based on your traditional beliefs. REAL Women’s argument advocating that same-sex marriage wrecks the stability of relationships, is a slippery slope to other ‘unconventional’ relationships and hurts the wellbeing of children is poorly supported. Same-sex marriage does quite the opposite of all those things. The really amazing thing about love is that it sees all people no matter their gender or sexuality and I say it is time to embrace that love.
Cited sources:
Ahmann, Elizabeth. “Supporting Youth Aging Out of Foster Care.” Pediatric Nursing, vol. 43, no. 1, Jan. 2017, pp. 43–48. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=tfh&AN=121353604&site=eds-live&scope=site.
Hull, Kathleen E. “Same-Sex Marriage: Principle Versus Practice.” International Journal of Law, Policy & the Family, vol. 33, no. 1, Apr. 2019, pp. 51–74. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1093/lawfam/eby018.
Lewis, Kent. World and World: A Critical Thinking Reader. Toronto, Thomas Nelson, 2006, p. 212–215.
Rose, Hilary. “Canada’s Same-Sex Marriage Law: Exception to or Exemplar of Canada’s Family Policy?” Journal of Child & Family Studies, vol. 21, no. 1, Feb. 2012, pp. 88–94. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1007/s10826–011–9479–7.
